Microsoft, Always a Source of Amusement

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Calligraphy.

That joke really sets the mood for this little spiel about Microsoft. I say that because it seems lately someone has turned up the crazy over there in Redmond. Seriously, 44 billion for Yahoo? Where do I begin? They have overlapping business interests. They use completely different technology. They have fundamentally different cultures. It would take years to integrate the two companies. Stop me when we get to the point that makes this a 44 billion dollar idea.

How can you be a Microsoft board member and not be having a heart attack right now? Because to me this smacks of extreme desperation. On one hand, management has this burning desire to do “something,” but on the other hand they have absolutely no clue as to what that “something” should be. That is the kind of environment which makes dumb-ass ideas like “let’s buy Yahoo for 44 billion” seem remarkably brilliant. It is like how all your friend’s jokes are funny when you are both stoned, but the next day you can’t figure out why witty quips like “the can is green” made you laugh so hard the day before. Same thing appears to be happening at Microsoft, only with less weed and more suits.

Unless there is some secret aspect to all this that I’m missing, I would say that the only one who really benefits from all this nonsense is Google. Microsoft will waste time, money, and resources to compete in a field that Google owns. Yahoo, the only company out there that looked like it could actually challenge Google in the search and ad business, will be effectively crippled. You can rest assured that any innovative properties of Yahoo will die painful deaths after their borg-like Microsoft rebranding. So to recap. Microsoft shoots itself in the foot, Yahoo ceases to exist, the users get screwed…and it looks like the only one who comes out ahead is Google. In fact, the more I think about it the more I’m convinced that this will really work out quite well for Google. Which brings me back to my “Microsoft is acting insane” motif. Am I the only one who sees the irony in Microsoft spending 44 billions dollars in a move that will ultimately benefit their biggest rival?

And if all that wasn’t enough, I keep reading gibberish about Windows 7 and how great it is going to be. I might have missed the boat on this one, but didn’t Microsoft just release their brand new, super duper, extra secure operating system called Windows Vista?

Guys?
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Hello?

Did we give up on Vista already? Don’t you think it’s a bit soon to start touting the features of an OS that won’t be released for another four years? (And I think I’m being charitable with that estimate.) I can understand not wanting to dwell on a failure, but for better or worse, Vista is all Microsoft has got. Well, for the next couple of years at least. It seems kind of counterintuitive to undermine your biggest product by trying to sell the hype of an, as yet, completely imaginary OS. But who knows. Maybe all of this talk of buying Yahoo has just utterly discombobulated what passes for the leadership over at Microsoft. Either way, it has been a long time since Microsoft did something that made me laugh this hard. Good job guys. Thanks for keeping people like me in business.