Mighty Mouse: Excrement Now Comes in White

The most inane debate of all time has to be the Apple multi button mouse tête-à-tête. For years people argued back and forth about the wisdom of Apple either shipping or failing to ship a multi button mouse. Surprisingly the argument could get quite heated at times (suprising because, after all, the debate was about a pointing device not economic policy or possible paths to eternal salvation). While the reason for the intensity of the debate remains puzzling the debate is finally well and truly over with the introduction of the Mighty Mouse. Oh, by the way, the answer is: Apple should have stuck with the one button mouse.

That conclusion undoubtedly seems surprising to the many proponents of Apple multi button goodness and to Apple themselves (they did release the Mighty Mouse). So let us examine the only real reason why Apple should have stuck with the one button mouse: Because the Mighty Mouse just isn’t very good. The fact is people expect really great stuff from Apple and if Apple isn’t going to ship something superior, something at least sanely great, they should just skip that segment of the market. Which is easy to say but practically begs for an explanation of why the Mighty Mouse is the Apple equivalent of Crystal Pepsi.

Aesthetics, some will argue, are completely subjective and hence a superfluous consideration. That is probably true when considering a lawn mower but with Apple products aesthetics are one of the defining factors and the first place the Mighty Mouse fails. Take the look of the standard Apple mouse: You’ve got a white lozenge wrapped in clear plastic, the thick clear shell makes the mouse seem brighter and smaller. The overall effect is that the mouse matches the pro Keyboard perfectly while appearing much smaller than it actually is; In fact the effect is so persuasive that the first time you lay your palm on the buttonless wonder you might be surprised by the actual size. Where the Pro Mouse is elegant and illusory the Mighty Mouse resembles nothing so much as a large waxy suppository and ruins the visual harmony found when using the standard mouse.

One could forgive the looks if only the Mighty Mouse offered substantial leaps in the usability department.  Ostensibly it does, you’ve got four buttons hidden here and there plus an omni directional track ball embedded in the top of the Mighty Mouse. Ah, where to begin? The old saw is “take it from the top” and this time that seems to be particularly sage advice. The omni directional track ball is positively tiny and this diminutive size makes the ball very difficult to manipulate. Getting the ball to scroll vertically or horizontally isn’t much of a challenge (though there is a tiny, but annoying, mechanical lag when reversing direction) but getting the ball to scroll diagonally is more challenging than pulling off Ryu’s uppercut in Street Fighter II Turbo SuperNES edition. Or said differently: the mouse will pan diagonally on occasion but rarely on demand.

Of course it is rare that one is presented with the need to actually scroll diagonally so perhaps this failing isn’t a deal killer. Let us turn our attention squarely at the dual top button functionality. The right no-button click is supposed to act consistently with the command click. For example if you command click a link in Safari a new tab or window opens (depending on your preference settings). Try this with the Mighty Mouse and a menu pops up asking you what you want to do (open link in new page/new tab etc.) This question necessitates another bit of input beyond the click and negates any time saved by not having to reach for the keyboard. Though, honestly, the lost time isn’t nearly as annoying as the fact that the button does not act exactly like the modifier key it supposedly replicates. That is nothing short of bad design. Update: I got this one completely wrong. The secondary button is actually the control key and the Mighty Bad Mouse replicates this functionality precisely. Thanks to xbaz as Chris Howard for pointing that out. Oh, so far no way to change the right click to the command key, so that bites.-CKS

While the above complaints are enough to chalk the Mighty Mouse up as a failed effort by Apple it wouldn’t be fair to omit the bits that Apple actually got right. What is there left to get right? Well the side buttons work remarkably well. Others have complained the Expose functionality is too difficult to invoke but it is not an experience I shared. Also the launching of Dashboard via the ball is nicely implemented. Further the left click right click delineation is surprising accurate, purposely trying to trick the mouse proved very difficult so the no button design is clearly workable. Oh yeah, the packaging was also nice (which is great for the first fifteen seconds you get a product but after that?)

Whining and faint praise aside let there be no doubt that the Mighty Mouse does not occupy the nadir of mouse design by Apple Computer. That distinction belongs solely to the hockey puck mouse, a mouse so bad that one is forced to wonder if the designer didn’t own a few shares of Logitech. You reach this conclusion as soon as you realize that the hockey puck mouse sold more third party mice than any “missing” second button.  While the Mighty Mouse isn’t as bad as the round puck of no luck it is pretty shoddy. Coming from most other companies one would rate the mouse as average at best, coming from a company with the reputation of Apple the Mighty Mouse can only be described as unacceptable.