There's no computer better than an Apple computer! I've been messing with computers since 1985. I've been an Atari user, a Commodore user, an Apple user, a Windows PC user. I'm certified. I've seen the best and the worst in all platforms. I started programming in Atari Basic, and I'm what you call a 80s computer generation road hippie. Look'n at what I'm work'n with? I got my external mouse on my Macbook Pro flying through cyberspace, got me a kick butt website. What can I say? I'm the POWERSHAKER. iWeb is my name! Mac OS Journal is my game. I got a Tiger running on my machine. I got tired of Internet Explorer and the fascist regime of Microsoft long ago. I run XP on my Mac just to show the world of Windblows where the wind is blowing.
It's Christmas, and my next door neighbor Windblows user wanted me to download a driver for him. Says he has a Linksys router, and he can't get it up and running. I'm a good Samaritan. I helped him. I downloaded the driver, and then I took the burn back over to him. Something just told me to watch what he does with that disc. He put it in his driver and clicked on the disc icon. Lo and behold, he starts clicking on the driver .sys file. Guess he thought it installed just like a Windblows program. So, I say, "Hey, man! Let me fix that for ya!" You hear what I'm saying Apple adepts? I get him to open up old Device Manager, and he says, "See, the device doesn't show up." I say, "Yes it does. See that PCI device that has the exclamation mark?" He said, "Yeah, but it doesn't say Linksys." "Well, I'll make say Linksys. Watch this." Browsed for the driver on the burn I gave him, and then installed it. Had his network up in four minutes or less. Guess us Apple Macintosh road warriors don't know much about fixing PCs. I'm tell'n ya I wouldn't have a PC ever again. I call it a shameful act. Apple's got the culture, the taste and the ingenuity. Wanna play junk games no one else wants to play, buy a Windows PC, because all the best games come on Mac these days. If I want to run all the junk games and walk into Wal-Mart like a WindBlows wizard, I'll put old Boot Camp on the Macbook Pro and jam with the best of them. Lately, I've heard from PC World that the Mac runs Vista better than a PC "clone." You know what I'm say'n? Let's talk about brilliance. Let's talk about the seasoned computer owner. Let's talk about the POWERSHAKER with his Macbook Pro at 2.4GHZ Core 2 Duo and the jam'n Geforce 8600M I'm pushin'.
Some Windblows user come and tell you that Apple users don't know anything about computers, then tell me why I'm fix'n up one of their boys for them? I don't have time for Bill Gates Mall. I'm walking into the Apple store feeling proud of my lady Apple Aphrodite. I'm look'n out the window, and I can see apples in the clouds. I got some Altec Lansing mids hooked up to my Pro, and I'm jamming to Whitesnake - not Timberlake. I got class. I got my 17" covered with an apple chick. When I carry my Mac to the mall, everyone stares and starts drooling. I get something done, and tomorrow a Windows user will still be bee-bopping through Device Manager and searching for the long-lost .dll file. Ya know what I'm say'n?
They say think different, but I'm thinking sexy. I got a big bad 320 gig 7200RPM Seagate storing all my mp3 files and making advertisements for Apple just for fun. I got one on google that got three five star ratings, and the week hasn't even begun. Ya know what I'm say'n? Come on? Show me any Windblows user life, and I'll show you how vasty inferior his is to mine. I got an iSkin and the longest foreskin in the world. Eve took a bite out of the apple, but we still got the sweet spots left. It's apple pie. It's this in your face! It's the ancient, zen artist in the princedoms by the sea. Apple's for you and me.
I got one-hundred-forty-five wallpapers of apple babes of the month. I got a truck with a apple shocks that can take the punch when I'm riding through the sea of PC machines. They say plug-in-play, and I just plug it in! You see? Why all the Apple users got a sexy butt? Look like two apples in sling. Every chick I ever dated is turned on by my Mac. I put her in my slide show theater, and I'm off to the base camp. Who can touch this? The wind blows, and I know... I know it's better to be different than be like every WalMart shopper wading through Bill's techno drama. I don't have time for ya! I'm ship'n out to Job's backyard. I got a tent with an apple on the side. I got wireless hot spots in my crotch. I don't need a Windblows machine. I hooke up anywhere day or night. I plug RSS feeds bleeding for me. If you ask "where's the bathroom," I'll tell you "it's probably built in." Why you Windblows iTunes so shabby compared to OS X sex?
I don't want an Internet Explorer! I want a big, bad web moment! I want a Firefox scorer! Now, I'm shut'n the door to the driver door. No .dlls in my grill. I got true plug-in-play, but what can I say? It just works! It just rocks! I'm running a Hal 9000 with an extra large mo-hawk. Who's got my back!? Let me see what you're work'n with! Penelope Cruz graces my desktop. I'm burning discs for PC punks and my iPod never stops. Man, what you talk'n about!? Windblows is a flop! STOP!
I'm a white boy who can rap, because my Mac talk me how. I give 8 gig iPods to pretty girls, and they're pink and sweet. I can wade through porn land without no virus infection. Where's a Windblows user!? Time for disinfection! Shuffle the sectors, pretty boy! I'll keep playing with my toy story. Don't have no time for you, Microsoft prisoner. I've been hearing what you're saying. I'm a real good lisoner. Come to place. Let me show you how to smile. I got a Mac SE monument ready to sing. Let me show you quickly how to think. Your PC is a shame. Your Windblows stinks! That's a rap! A bit of Apple cider. What's that crawling in your PC? A trojan spider?
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